AnTheM oF mY DyinG DayS

PuBLiC SerVicE AnNounCeMenT

2004-10-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

Watz up ya'all.. juz to inform ya'all, i've changed my blog.. you can visit my new blog through the link 'DeadKnight Herry' at FRENZ BLOG on the right of this blog.. Sorry for any inconvinience cause.. thanx ya'all.. Peace and Rock on..

ScReaMinG InFiDeLiTieS

2004-09-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

Irritated to talk about the East Coast overnite cycling.. if i talk about it, i will be piss.. go Joan blog and read to know e main activities that we did there.. other than that, its for me to know and for you to find out.. Anyway, lots of people are sad nowadays.. why oh why.. it is like a contagious disease spreading from one person to another in just a short time.. come on!! where is the love.. angeline, joan, pei shi and etc.. pei shi, if you reading this, please cheer up ya.. time is just too short to be wasted on sadness when u can taste happiness.. if u just try.. so figure out and solve the problem.. dont delay it cause noone can solve it for you but yourself.. and if you need comfort, you can count on the class ya.. you know we care for you.. you'll never walk alone.. and this goes to Joan too.. just wait ya Joan.. he will someday wake up and realise what he miss out on.. a cute, understanding, reliable and not forgetting strong (lol) girl and thats you Joan.. even if he dont, hes stupid cause i believe one day you will get a guy who appreciate ur greatness.. and by that time, its too late for him.. people like him will only realise how important a person is to them till the person is gone.. and they deserve to taste the bitterness.. cause they take things for granted.. they think that they are too good for us.. but they'll someday know that we have somethings better than them.. so dont worry so much.. just live life as it is.. and to all of you out there.. be happy and smile always.. cause whoever that is making you sad is not worth it.. if they are so important and the source of your happiness, think twice.. they should not make u sad in the first place.. so let it burn or just compromise about it.. dont stress yourself when the person dont think that what they are doing are making you sad.. you all are torturing yourselves.. i know its hard to forget unhappiness.. slowly but surely it can be overcome.. so dont let sadness linger in ur head always.. cause you never know how long u gonna live.. and i'm sure you all wanna die happy.. lol.. so the conclusion.. Love sucks.. but thats how it goes in life..

I'm missing you bad

I never sleep

avoiding the spots we have to meet

and this bottle of sadness is making me mad

I'm cuddling close

To blankets and sheets

but you're not alone and you're not discreet

make sure i know whos taking you home

I'm reading your message over again

Theres not a word that i comprehend

except when you sign off

'we will be around for each other forever'

I'm missing you laugh

how did it break?

and when did your eyes begin to look fake?

I hope you're as happy as you're pretending

I am alone in my defeat

i wish i know you're safely at home

Well as for now i'm gonna hear the saddest songs

and sit alone and wonder

how you're making out

But as for me i wish that i was anywhere with anyone

who treasures me....

BroKeN

2004-09-26T18:06:00.000+08:00

Something isn't right.. i can feel it again.. this isnt the first time.. that you left me waiting.. sad excuses and false hopes high.. i saw this coming still i dont know why i let you in.. so take ur empty words and broken promises.. and all the time you stole coz i'm done with this.. i can give it away.. i'm doing everything i should have.. and now i'm making a change, i'm living the day.. i'm giving back what you gave me coz i dont need anything.. i knew it all along.. you're so predictable.. i knew something would go wrong.. so you dont have to call.. or say anything at all.. Everywhere i go, everyone i meet, everytime i try to fall in love , they all want to know why i'm so broken.. why am i so cold.. why i'm so hard inside.. why am i scared.. what am i afraid of.. i dont even know.. this story's never had an end.. i've been waiting,searching and hoping.. i've been dreaming you would come back.. but i know the ending of this story.. you're never coming back.. NEVER.. everywhere i go for the rest of my life is so predictable.. everyone that i love and everyone that i care about, they all gonna want to know what's wrong with me.. and i know what it is.. i'm ending this right now..

I wanted you to know

that i love the way you laugh

I wanna hold u high and steal your pain away

I keep your photograph

I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you tight and keep you here with me

Coz i'm broken when i'm open

and i dont feel like i am strong enough

Coz i'm broken when i'm lonesome

and i dont feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away......

You dont feel me here......

AnymorE.............

ThE ReBirTh

2004-09-20T20:11:00.000+08:00

The Rebirth.. The Reincarnation.. The Resurrection.. whatever u call it.. i'm Back.. left everything behind me.. whats past is past.. sick and tired of being sick and tired.. now things have change.. but somethings still stays in my heart though.. k anyway, more relaxing yet exciting life now.. with angeline frawley diyana simran sammy dilys by ma side.. great bunch of people.. mixture of race n religion.. dunnoe what happen to jun xiong.. and also the rest.. maybe just dont share the same interest n topics like the rest of us.. well hope they are doing fine.. guess its true what people say, nothing last forever.. whatever it is, life still have to go on..
Hmm btw had a great time just now.. lol.. me, faezah, angeline, frawley, dilys and kelvin loy went to grassroot club during the 5hrs break.. had a damn fun time.. new games available there.. even kelvin loy join in the fun.. lol.. we all team up play the music game.. play the hyper mode.. whoa we pro.. good coordination.. completed the game.. haha cheers.. we all play2 there till exhausted.. then go back school.. went for lesson and then went home.. duh!!!

I've lost my innocence, and i'm a stranger, a life changer

I'm a man thats not afraid of danger

I walk my own path, and blaze my own trail

Because i'm not afraid to derail

I wont get in line or be a middle man

So F**K you i make my own plans

And i got RESPECT and i dont neglect

The people who are here who came to protect

Am i a failure if i got nothing to lose

No, i'm not a failure, I got something to prove..

I'm not listening, not anymore..

Its time to live my life

Go ahead, i know i'm right

I'm gonna lay it on the line

Put yourself in my shoes

Would you stand up for your rights

Line em up and knock em down

I'm not running scared tonight..

Does it run in your blood to betray the friends you have!!!

GoTTa LeT iT BuRn

2004-09-15T01:44:00.000+08:00

Since the day that you dissed me, i'm feeling so pathetic.. coz the gals,well they've ditched me and its all because of, you and your friends are laughing at me now.. you've turned me down coz i got no car and i got no money.. you think that i'm nothing.. ask angeline what you're missing.. Maybe you think that you're too good for me.. someday when you get home you're gonna see.. i've got something better than you.. the whole world was watching and laughing on the day you dissed me.. they were watching on the day that i CRASH AND BURN AT YOUR FEET...
Are you aware of what you make me feel.. right now i feel invisible to you.. like i'm not real.. Heres what i have to say.. i was left to cry there.. waiting outside there grinning with the last stare and thats when i decided why should i care.. coz you werent there when i was scared.. i was so alone.. why should i care coz you dont care and we're not going anywhere.. i started to trip and i losing my grip but you still werent there.. i've LOSE MY GRIP..
Lets talk this over, its not like i'm dead.. was it something i did.. was it something i said.. dont leave me hanging in a class so dead.. held up so high on such a breakable thread.. You got your friends.. i know what they say.. they tell you i'm difficult but so are they.. but they dont know me.. do they even know you.. All the things you hide from me.. all the shit that you do.. you were all the things i thought i knew and i thought we could be.. Its nice to know that you were there.. Tanx for ACTING like you cared and making me feel like i was the only one.. its nice to know i had it all.. tanx for watching as i fall.. and now i know that we're done..You were everything that i wanted.. we were meant to be supposed to be but we've lost it.. and all of the memories so close to me just fade away.. All this time you were PRETENDING.. so much for my HAPPY ENDING..
See gal.. its burning me to hold onto this.. i know this is something i gotta do.. but that doesnt mean i want to.. what i'm trying to say is that i love you.. though i know that everything is gone.. so its better for me to let it go now.. than hold on and hurt myself.. deep down i know its best for myself but i hate the thought of you being with someone else but i know that its over and i know that it WAS through.. its gonna burn for me to say this.. but its coming from my heart.. I'm twisted coz one side of me is telling me that i need to move on.. on the other side i wanna break down and cry.. but GOTTA LET IT BURN..

I DonT waNNa KnoW

2004-09-15T01:19:00.000+08:00

Whats past is past.. dont wish to continue from where i stop last time.. coz its not worth saying.. i'll keep everything inside.. Broken Friendship(You've lost my respect) and feelings for her(All was a Lie).. coz one word summarise it all.. Gone.. see ya all soon.. tanx for reading my blog this past weeks.. Peace and Rock on ya'all.. \m/
You're hiding something coz its burning through your eyes.. I try to get it out but all i hear from you are lies.. You insist to pull me down.. you contradict the fact that you, still want me around.. Your good intentions slowly turns into bitterness.. And its ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE..
Ohh LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, you've made a fool of everyone.. ohh well it seems like such fun until u lose wat you had won..
Somebody said she saw you.. the person you were holding wasnt me.. and i would never ask you.. i just keep it to myself.. I dont need to know the truth.. Just keep it to yourself.. Go on and do your thing and never come back to me.. i dont wanna know where your whereabouts or how you moving.. i know when you're in the house or when you're cruising.. its been proven my love you abusing.. i cant understand how a man got you choosing.. undecided i came and provided.. my undivided you came and deny it,why.. dont even try it i know when you're lying.. i'm not applying any pressure.. just wanna let you know, that i dont wanna let you go.. i dont wanna let you leave.. but it is inevitable.. I DONT WANNA KNOW.. if you're playing me, keep it on the low.. coz my heart cant take it anymore.. and if you're creeping please dont let it show.. ohh gal, I DONT WANNA KNOW..

Here WiThouT YoU

2004-09-06T03:49:00.000+08:00

Ok.. Long time never post.. Flashback time.. starting wif 2nd Sept.. hmm had a barbeque with my class Bm0411 at East Coast Park.. kinda sucky coz only 10+ odd ppl came.. Even she never came.. but its ok la.. at least those who came had some fun.. some only.. haha and its during the buying food time.. haha.. we hired bikes to go and buy the food.. haha i rode a double pedal bike with Bee Leng.. Sorry ah!!!! not experience with it.. haha.. keep stopping n stopping.. haha.. we all had fun la.. go NTUC buy all the stuffs.. hmm then came back.. Joan and my Mummy (Jia Xin) was setting up the fire.. so poor thing.. haha..their hands was so black.. but must thank them for doing it.. then start loh the barbequeing.. Joan ah!!.. basket.. ask me help.. i go there.. haven even help she say 'ok no need.. u dunnoe how to cook'.. hahaha.. wat the heill.. then at the end of the day she say i never offer help.. haha.. nvm..Good guys finish last.. ahakz.. whoa the breeze that day exceptionally good sia.. whoa love it.. if only she was there.. duh? .. ahakz.. actually the rest of the time was quite boring.. just barbequing all the time.. Cheryl, Mummy and Joan were the one cooking and cooking and cooking.. haha.. Thank You la hor.. Mummy very good.. cook for me.. haha.. i sit there shake leg play guitar.. then that stupid Jun Xiong kick the soccerball anyhow, fly to the sea.. i must go take.. shoe so wet.. wat the heilll!!! then pity Kang an.. he was lost for 2 hours.... in Singapore.. muahaha.. came so late.. haha.. we didnt do any activities loh.. only eat and eat.. then after that all go home.. say want to overnite.. all fako.. haha.. only me Jun Xiong and Kelvin stayed.. we night cycle sia..Jun Xiong blade.. From one corner to another..But couldnt cycle in peace loh.. haha that Jun Xiong ah complain alot sia leg pain.. stop alot of time.. haha.. but nvm la.. then we decided to go sit along the seashore and talk about the days of our lives.. with the cool breeze and music of the waves creating the beautiful ambience around us.. we had great interaction.. know each other better.. we called ourselves the JJJ.. if you wonder why.. its for us to know and for you to find out.. Good luck to them.. then Jun xiong go sleep loh.. sian.. haha.. me and Kelvin go cycle instead.. cycling through the breeze.. till dawn breaks.. then we two took photos at the jetty there.. we look so cool.. naturally cool guys.. haha.. then we went back wake Jun Xiong up.. haha.. and guess what.. we went 7 Eleven to buy breakfast then we decided to go morning cycling for two hours till 12.. haha.. had a great time sia.. we went so far.. then came back.. after that we all head home.. Had a fun time with those guys.. Yeah!!! hope to do it again in future.. maybe the rest can join us next time.. including her..
Cant believe it.. i slept from the time i came home from the overnite till saturday morning.. but in between got wake up awhile.. coz she msg me.. shes a sweet girl la i tell u.. n thats for me to noe why.. then on saturday and sunday nothing much.. slack at home.. but kinda miserable at home.. its been a week since i saw her.. flashes of her beautiful face runs in my mind always.. missing her too much.. if only she could appear right infront of me for a few seconds for me to be mesmorised by her beauty..but that wont be enough.. i hope i can see her forever.. i'll never get enough of her.. but it is all an illusion.. Fortunately it is all gonna end.. i'll be seeing her later today.. coz i'm missing her like crazy right now.. cant wait to see her in class.. seeing her sweet smile blows me away everytime.. and always makes my day.. so i better go sleep now.. so that time will past by swiftly.. and at least i can see her in my dream again..When i go school later today, hope shes there..coz the sight of her beauty is like heaven.. words just cant describe it..
The past few days have made me older since the last time that i saw your pretty face.. all the miles that seperates.. disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face.. everything i know.. and anywhere i go.. it gets hard but it wont take away my love.. when the last one falls.. and when its all said and done.. it gets hard but it wont take my love away.. i'm here without you.. but you're still on my lonely mind.. i think about you and i dream about you all the time.. i'm here without you princess but you're still with me in my dreams.. and tonight its only you and me..

MiSeRy

2004-08-31T23:38:00.000+08:00

Life is such a funny thing.. You never know what it'll bring.. you know i'm just taking it day by day.. For you it comes so easily.. For me it's just a fantasy.. Coz nothing, nothing ever comes my way.. You do just what you wanna do.. Everybody wants to be with you.. It's something that i just dont understand.. I dont believe you know what you got.. and that's what puts me over the top.. I'm running, running just as fast as i can.. I see you there, i watch you fly.. If i could be you, i would touch the sky.. But here i am and There you are.. Don't you know it's driving me so crazy.. I think i'm going crazy, cant take it anymore.. got one thing in mind all the time and it's driving me crazy.. I don't know what i'm doing.. I just cant take your grace in my face coz it's driving me crazy..
I cry myself to sleep again tonight.. Coz i cannot hold you tight.. i wish that i could see you again tomorrow.. To take all this sorrow, i'm hallow.. When i touch you, can you feel it.. When i need you, can you be there.. When i look in your eyes, can you see me.. When i fall, will you catch me.. These tears on my face are for you.. i wish that i could hold you.. Feel you.. My heart is bleeding.. cant you see.. I wish that you could hold me and feel me.. Misery is what i feel when you're not around so i cant heal.. Misery is what i feel..
When i think of you, i dont know what to do.. when will i see you again.. You are all that i need.. You are all that i want.. Cant you see how i feel.. Cant you see that my pains so real.. When i think of you.. I'm confused.. I miss you like crazy every minute of everyday.. Girl i'm so down when your love's not around.. I miss you like crazy...
You're always in my mind.. Everyday i think of how you'll shine.. Let it go or hang on tight.. Stay forever or stay for one more night.. either way i feel the same thing for you.. The feeling inside is ten stories high..

ThE ReaSoN

2004-08-31T00:24:00.000+08:00

Feeling blue, well i'm trying to forget the feeling that i miss you.. Feeling green, when the jealousy swells and it wont go away and dreams.. Feeling yellow, i'm confused inside, a little hazy but mellow.. Feeling red, when u spend all your time with your friends and not me instead.. Feeling black, when i think about all of the things that i feel i lack.. Feeling jaded, when its not gone right, all the colours are faded.. when i feel your eyes on me, feeling fine, its sublime, when that smile of yours creeps into my mind.. Nobody told me it feels so good.. Nobody said you would be so beautiful.. Nobody warned me about your smile.. You're the light.. When i close my eyes.. i'm colourblind..
I've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be.. A reason to start over new.. and the reason is You.. I've found a reason for me to show a side you didnt know.. A reason for all that i do and the reason is you..

WriTTeN aLL oVeR mY HeaRT

2004-08-30T11:01:00.000+08:00

Monday morning came too soon... i think about you now laying in my room.. hearing everything you said.. i play it back a hundred times in my head.. then i sleep into a dream.. the feeling inside is ten stories high.. Never knew what love was, until i met you.. cause it feels so good sometimes.. and it feels so bad sometimes.. until you love me..
Here i go again.. well i cant hold it anymore.. i cant hold in the pain.. the pain has knocked me over.. i dont know what to do About You.. well i cant make it on my own.. where do i begin.. when i feel so alone.. i dont know what to do............. Its written all over my heart, my soul.. well i cant let her know.. i cant let it show.. i cant let it go.. its written all over my heart and soul, if i could i let her know... i let her know.. Well i cant seem to face it.. ohh that i am here and you are there and You dont seem to really care.. well you cant seem to face it.. whats left of me is for you to see.....

Why Don't You anD I

2004-08-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

Let me briefly explain the things that went through the last few days.. On Monday, hmm nothing much to talk about.. just that i'm happy with my Accounts ICA result.. got 33 1\2 out of 35.. hmm wasted did not achieve a full mark.. but nvm, i'll get it one day.. Persevere.. On Tuesday, was glad that she was happy about the earpiece i gave her.. now she can call anyone she wants and can pick up calls..she wont have to worry anymore.. smiling always.. yeah... Wednesday, hmm cant remember anything special that happen.. Thursday was fun.. went to play badminton wif Jia Xin at School's Sports Hall.. Had a great time playing with her.. Shouldnt have underestimated her.. she is a good competitor.. maybe one day i shall compete with her again.. Kang an came to play too but it was like 15 minutes before we went off.. he played for awhile.. hmm that guy ah always give excuses if play lousy.. haha.. but he do play well.. hmm after playing we all went wash up loh before going to McDonald.. as usual after that got computer lesson and followed by marketing lecture.. went home straight after that..Friday was a busy day.. early morning had to go school to do statistic project.. it was due on Saturday.. so we decided to finish it a day earlier.. as usual i came late by half an hour.. hmm but noone complain.. heng ah.. then me n Jun Xiong did the conclusion.. we manage to finish it 5 mins before marketing tutorial at 2.. hmm glad we get it done and over with.. Marketing tutorial was as usual.. just that we got our ICA 2 result.. disappointing.. got 12 1\2 out of 30.. but its ok.. i take it as a lesson.. I'll try harder in future.. Then after Marketing was EWS.. to me its the most sickening subject now.. bcoz of the teacher.. she always find trouble with the class.. unfortunately, that day she decided to find trouble with the wrong guy.. ME.. she scolded me n Frawley for playing.. we were just joking with each other for a few seconds.. she said alot of rubbish like 'if u two want to play, go play outside.. you're not giving any respect to me'.. then she say ' i wonder whats your pupose of coming to school'.. i said 'study'.. she replied ' u dont look like u want to study'.. trying to embarrass me and Frawley.. by that time she triggered my anger.. then a few minutes later she had the cheek to answer her stupid question.. i just vaguely answer her question loh.. then she said 'is that all'.. hmm so i said ' ya, i come here to study.. not to give answer.. u give me the answer ah..' ... Bang i hit a nail on her head.. serve her right for not respecting me too.. too bad for her.. during the entire lesson i was giving her all kind of shit.. went off straight after the class.. cant stand her sight.. although i felt a little guilty for bursting into anger(for the first time).. thought that i was gonna have a bad day.. but good thing the event that followed was a wonderful one.. me Jun Xiong Terissa BeeLeng and Amy went to Jurong point to watch a movie- Bourne Supremacy..the movie starts at 945pm.. had alot of time to spare.. so we went to eat at Banquet basement..and after that we talk n joke there till the movie start.. the movie was excellent.. interesting plot and lots of actions.. it was suppose to be an intense movie.. haha but me and Amy was like laughing most of the time.. haha making jokes on most things.. i think the people around us thinks that we are crazy.. had such a marvellous time.. after that we went home.. had to take a taxi since the MRT service was close.. the angry thoughts perished thanx to that extremely happening event.. yeah!!!

Since the moment i spotted you..i'm like walking around with little wings on my shoes.. my stomach's filled with the butterflies.. i'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around.. everytime i try to talk to you, get tongue-tied.. turns out that everything i say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right.. and i slowly begin to realise this is never gonna end.. right about the same time u walk by and i say 'oh, here we go again'.. So i'll say why dont you and i get together and take on the world and be together forever.. heads we will.. tails we'll try again.. So i say why dont you and i hold each other and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven.. cause without you they never gonna let me in...

GiRL oF mY DreaMs

2004-08-27T09:57:00.000+08:00

All alone, in my room.. wishing that you were here.. without you in my arms.. i'm holding back all of the tears.. without you in my life, i'll never be satisfied.. sometimes i feel i could have been better to you.. all i want is a chance to prove that my love is true.. without you in my life, i'll never be satisfied.. baby lets go to a time.. where our hearts will shine.. and i could hold you tight in my dreams at night.. You are the GIRL of my dreams, in my heart i believe..

PrinCeSS

2004-08-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

You're so beatiful, divine... everything about you so fine.. For you to love me.. there is no pain in this world, that i cant endure.. you're so sweet.. so wonderful.. and as i think of you, i hear The music of love.. anytime i feel alone.. i listen to your favourite songs.. and like the music and words.. i miss you and i play it on and on.. my love so beautiful and unconditional.. cant find the words to explain.. and when your skies turns grey, i'll make them clear again.. when you're weak, i'm weak.. i need to hear the music, u need to hear the words.. this is how it all begins.. This is your song.. hope you'll remember forever and ever if it means to you as what it means to me.. so from this moment you know.. everything..

CanT HeLp FaLLinG

2004-08-24T20:26:00.000+08:00

Have you ever love before.. circumstances lead u through the door.. feeling lose when u drift away.. loneliness the price to pay.. cant imagine life without you baby.. i'm not use to smiles without your face.. how it gets so wrong today.. changes can come in like a knife.. where wounds that take too long to heal.. we can say we never try.. to understand the way we feel.. believe me what i did is true.. these things i did i did for you.. cant think of any words to say..i just cant help falling in love this way.. Perhaps the time our hearts get change.. God truly knows that i'm in pain.. hold my hand and cant u see.. my state of insecurity.. if there is still some love in you.. stop me now before i'm really through.. search your heart and feel the love.. we'll find a way to make it last..

This may never start.. we could fall apart.. and i would be your memory.. lost your sense of fear.. your feelings insincere.. can i be your memory.. So get back to where we lasted.. just like i imagine.. i could never feel this way.. so get back to the disaster.. my heart's beating faster.. holding on to feel the same...

Well i'm thinking about the future.. but i'm too young to pretend.. its such a waste to always look behind you.. should be looking straight ahead.. Yeah!!! i'm gonna have to move on.. before we meet again.. Yeah!!! its hard.. if you had only seen.. 7:32am Bukit Batok MRT.. i'm looking down the track.. coz every once awhile i think about if i'm gonna get myself together.. i should be happy just to be alive.. and just bcoz i dont feel like going home doesnt mean i'll never arrive..

WiSHinG oN a FaLLin STaR

2004-08-24T01:27:00.000+08:00

Posting for last friday 20th Aug.. Kind of worried in the morning coz Amy was sick on thurs.. actually it was quite sudden tat she fell sick.. so i msg her to ask her condition.. it got worse.. she started vomiting too.. seeing that sms makes me so worried and i felt damn pathetic.. coz shes there suffering yet i cant help her.. sucky feeling.. so in the end she nvr go for EWS and the GLG overnite trip.. She went doctor in the evening.. i msg her to noe wats wrong.. she actually was sick coz of the infection from the cuts on her finger.. n i couldnt prevent that from happening.. sianz.. at that time me Joanne Terissa Junxiong and Angeline was at town.. we were at Cathay Cineleisure after eating at Far East Plaza.. the food there was great.. had a good dinner.. we then bought ticket for the 1:15am show Alien versus Predator coz the earlier time slot all were full.. while waiting for the show,we sat at Youth Park.. had a great talk with all of them.. tighten our bond.. great.. i cried for a moment there while listening to songs.. theres not a need to explain why.. then we went to watch the show.. it was damn lame loh.. if you have watch it then u noe y i said so.. but since its lame,all of us had a great laugh.. then after that we went in search for a place to chill.. so we end up at the Fullerton Merlion.. we took a long time loh to go there tanx to Jun xiong who make us go round and round.. hmm we then chill there till 6+am.. we talk alot durin the whole night.. except Angeline who was so tired that she slept alot.. after that Joanne and Junxiong went Kayaking at Kallang while me Terissa n Angeline went the opposite way.. whoa i was damn unlucky loh.. wanted go marketing lecture.. so from bukit batok i took the train.. i felt aslp till Raffles Place there.. by that time it was 9am loh.. by the time i turn back go there will be late loh.. so i went home.. before i sleep i msg her.. she said shes feeling better.. that lighten my heart abit.. and she said shes goin shopping in the afternoon.. haha.. shopping does work wonders for her.. Glad it does if that will make her happy.. so after msg i fell aslp.. it had been a fun trip..but was thinking,worrying and missing her the whole trip.. coz without her,everything seems incomplete.. She couldnt share the great food we ate, the interactions we made and the laughter we had... that made me feel damn (no words can describe it).. I was wishing on a falling star that she was alright during the entire trip.. Glad shes ok now.. Hope nothing will happen to her again.. God bless her.. and i'll do whatever i can for her as long as shes happy and always have that sweet smile on her face..

As For today,i'm feeling xtremely happy a 'lil bit of sad maybe.. i'll post another day though for today's events..

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not mine would i have the strength to stand at all?
If i dont need you then why am i crying on my bed?
If i dont need you then why does your name resound in my head?
I never know what the future brings
But i know that you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And i hope you are the one i share my life with
I dont wanna run away but i cant take it,i dont understand
If i'm not meant for you then why does my heart tell me that i am
Is there anyway that i can be with you?
Coz i miss you,body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And i breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
Coz i love you,whether its wrong or right
And though i cant be with you
You know my heart is by your side
I hope i love you all my life........

RaZoRbLaDeS

2004-08-22T00:24:00.000+08:00

Let me write about last wednesday 18th Aug... Hmm there was suppose to be a seminar that day after school.. but unfortunately one of the speakers of the seminar was sick.. so it was cancelled.. most of us was picked to help during the seminars as ushers,photographers or mcs.. when news was passed that it was cancel,we were so pissed off esp those who had already wore formal clothes to school for the seminar.. so they feel kinda stupid wearing it for nothing.. a good thing i was clever enough to come to school in outside clothes instead of wearing my formal clothes straight from home.. so i wasnt affected that much just that i was so eager to wear the blazer but in the end i was disappointed.. hmm after that me Joan Peishi Angeline junxiong Amy Jane Beeleng and Joanne went to Junction 8.. we all went to the Food Junction first as they were hungry.. me n Junxiong did not eat as we had ate in school.. after that Terissa meet us there.. Amy's middle finger had a cut.. so i went to buy Pooh plasters at Watson.. hope she felt betta as she like Pooh.. haha.. Jane and Peishi went off first as the rest of us accompany Terissa to Mos burger coz she had not eaten the whole day.. after that we wasted lots of time at there.. we could not decide where we wanna go.. In the end we decided to go to Little Guilin.. haha.. of all places.. Joanne Beeleng and Joan did not follow us as they were busy.. So only left Terissa Angeline Amy Jun xiong and me.. haha cant believe they bought Vodka to drink during daylight.. Crazy.. Coz of that also Amy got hurt as she tried to open the bottle cap of Junxiong's drink.. 3 of her fingers on her left hand was cut..i felt like razorblades pierce through my heart the moment she was cut.. we quickly help her wash her wound.. fortunately i bought those Pooh plasters earlier on.. so 3 of her fingers had plasters on.. haha so cute..after that we had a fun and relaxing time there..had lots of laughter.. we saw a couple making out there like noones business.. also saw a guy so enthusiastic trying to fish there.. and we made lots of jokes about the lake and the tortoises.. hahaha.. We also made a name for our group.. we call ourselves 'The GLG sickos'.. muahaha.. perfect name for all of us who are sickos..End of the day , we had a great time there.. Lots of interaction.. we went off at 7pm.. i went straight home.. i slept that day while worrying about her fingers.. Seeing her hurt is like Razorblades cutting me up...

UnTiL ThE daY i DiE

2004-08-16T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hmm was kinda busy in pass few days to write about the things that have been happening.. only post songs on my blog.. I'm still kinda busy so i'm cutting my history short.. hmm a strange and confusing thing happened.. i found out that dilys actually told Amy and terissa that i was sad for the past few days because i was rejected by diyana.. and these Fu*king lies could only have come from diyana herself.. wats up wif making those tales.. God, i didnt offend them in any way.. wats their motive.. i'm still wondering.. btw i just have to say it.. Amy is the one i like n beginning to love her for who she is..even if she doesnt.. and i was utterly shocked that dilys told her that.. wats up.. are they trying to ruin my hope of getting her.. even if so.. wats their purpose.. dont tell me diyana likes me.. thats impossible.. i'm too low for her.. she got lots of other suitors.. but whatever it is.. Glad that whoever knows about it does not believe it and never will.. including Amy.. thank God.. so now i got to warn those two gals.. whatever motive they have in mind, they better forget it before its too late.. i will not take lies lightly especially if its about me.. i've not shown my wrath and i dont want them to be the ones to see it first.. and to all of you out there.. Trouble is near if you decide to do something evil to me.. i am a nice guy but u won't wanna mess with me.. and leave Amy alone too.. so get down to your own business and leave me alone to lead my life in peace.. Coz Until the day i die, i'll spill my heart for her... So F**k off or be F**k... Peace.. *sory for explicit and violent content*

SaYinG I LovE You

2004-08-15T18:28:00.000+08:00

I may not be the best-looking guy you ever knew
But i can show you love that will always be true
And when your skies turns grey,my love will guide the way
And if these words that i hold can only be told
Saying i love you
Is the hardest thing to do
And if i ever do,Girl i'll always be true
And when your tears fall to the ground
I will pick you up when you're feeling down

CHanGeS

2004-08-14T15:15:00.000+08:00

I'm not supposed to be scared of anything
But i donnoe where i am
I wish that i could move but i'm exhausted
And nobody understands(how i feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now
But theres no air in my lungs
There's noone here to talk to
And the pain inside is making me numb

I try to hold this under control
They can't help me coz noone knows

Chorus:
Now i'm going through changes,changes
God,I feel so frustrated lately
When i get suffocated,save me
Now i'm going through changes,changes

I'm feeling weak and weary
Walking through this world alone
Everything you say,every word of it,
Cuts me to the bone(and i bleed)
I've got something to say
But now i've got nowhere to turn
It feel like i've been buried
Underneath all the weight of the world

I try to hold this under control
They cant help me coz noone knows

Chorus

I'm blind and shaking
Bound and breaking
I hope i make it through all these changes

Now i'm going through changes,changes
God,I feel so frustrated lately
When i get suffocated,i hate this
But i'm going through changes,changes...

ObViousLy

2004-08-14T14:37:00.000+08:00

Recently i've been
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this girl
Whos out of this world
Believe me

Shes got a lifestyle
That drives me around the bend
Coz shes rich
The things that she want
I can't treat

But so many nights now
I find myself thinking about her now

Chorus:
Coz obviously
Shes out of my league
I'm wasting my time
Coz she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her
No,no
Never will be good enough for her

Gotta escape now
Change to another class,yeah
Off to 12 and that's where i'll stay,for a year

I'll put it behind me
Go to a class where she cant find me,yeah

Chorus

Shes outta my hands
And i never know where i stand
Coz i'm not good enough for her
JX good enough for her

by McFly (Edited by Herry)

I'm LeTTinG Go RiGhT NoW

2004-08-14T13:55:00.000+08:00

I'm all alone in my room right now
Thinking how are you today
And i hope that God will bless you
throughout the day

And i'm here
Missing you like crazy
Wishing you were here with me
But you're not

Chorus:
There's never been a time that pass
Without u in my mind
You seem so near to me
But yet so far away
And i know that
Nothing will ever change
So i'm letting go right now
I'm letting go right now

by Herry
A song dedicated to that girl again

To be Continued..

JusT FoR YoU To LovE mE

2004-08-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

I try to keep this love from you
But i can't do that anymore

Your face been lingering in my head
Since the first time that i saw you

Now i finally understand
That you're the one that i need
i need......

Chorus:
You're all that i want now
I hope what i need don't seem so much
Just for you to want me
Just for you to want me
Just for u to love me

And i know its just a dream
thats seems impossible to meet
Now everything so clear to me
That i'm not good enough for you
For you.....

Chorus

Like you
Love you
Miss you

Like you
Love you
Miss you

by Herry
A song dedicated to that girl...

HarDeR anD HarDeR To BreaThE

2004-08-12T21:04:00.000+08:00

Nothing much happened yesterday... just that dilys and i wanted to go to the school's gym yest with dilys but they said that we need to go for a gym orientation.. what shit.. so dilys and i decided to go to the gym at clementi central.. after a long time of not working out,i was tired after just a few minutes using the equipments.. haha.. but i could still take it.. had a great day working out.. dilys told me to do 'cool down' exercise after the end of our gym sessiong.. but i didnt do.. i regretted it dearly... after changing attire, i accompanied dilys to NTUC coz she wanted to buy groceries before i went home.. i thought i could rest at home.. when i was about to sleep,my bestfriend Sathiya called me and said that he needs me urgently.. no choice but i had to quickly rush down.. he needed me to tell his mum that the reason he came home late was bcoz he went out with me.. so i just told his mum that.. but in the end.. it wasnt required.. coz his mum was'nt angry with him at all.. as she just came back from a one month holiday in India,she decided to have a welcome home treat.. hahaha... she asked me along..so fortunate.. We(me,sathiya's mum,sathiya n his big bro) went to eat at the nearest coffeeshop.. his mum treat us satay.. damn delicious.. Thank You!!.. after that,i decided to go home coz i need to go home n study my Accounts.. But in the end i didnt.. i used the com.. and i found out an ugly truth.. my klasmate told me through MSN that he also like the gal that i told him i like.. but he say that i can take her coz i like her more.. i do not need pity from him.. cant believe he told me that.. i actually regarded him as my goodfriend even though i just know him.. looks like the phrase 'true friends are hard to come by' is actually precise.. disappointed.betrayed.anguish. was all in my head.. looks like i just have to forget that girl.. let my so-called goodfriend woo her in peace.. Good luck.. it seems that its getting harder n harder to breathe as each day pass.. hope i can hold on.. n hope that i can forget that girl although i know it is seemingly impossible...

ThE RoaD I'M oN

2004-08-11T02:29:00.000+08:00

Back.. oooh i had an Xciting day just now.. cant believe it that the hand on my clock strikes 7 when i open my eyes to go to school in the morning... i was really late for school.. but i took my time as i knew i was gonna be late anyway.. haha.. left the house at 7:35am.. Simran was also late thus we decide to go to school together.. i meet her at the Yio Chu Kang MRT at 8:15am.. although we scan our cards at 830am,we went in only during the interval of the lecture coz we didnt want to embarrassed ourselves by going in late while the lecturer is teaching... haha.. both statistics n econs lecture went well.. after the statistics tutorial ends at 1pm, most of us decided to skip EWS which was at 5pm.. in the end we were blessed as the teacher didnt come in the end... pity those who didnt follow our advise to skip the lesson.. hahaha.. Me,angeline,frawley,jun xiong,joanne,amy and bee leng went to City Link Mall and Suntec City as the gals wanted to shop... but we went to eat KFC first before shopping.. haha the gals esp Amy took a long time in each n every shop they went to... me n jun xiong had a 'wonderful' time waiting.. haha.. but it was fun.. seeing the gals trying on clothes.. they all look very chiobu.. haha.. the shopping spree ended at 8pm as most of them was tired by then.. so we all went home by MRT except bee leng who took a bus.. damn tiring day... but an enjoyable one too.. n btw, about the strawberries that i bought for that girl yest, i didnt give her coz i was to scared that she'll be shocked to death and i'll be embarrassed.. once again.. i failed to show my sweet gesture.. Loser.. i feel that something is holding me back.. feel like i'm not suitable for her coz she's soo high-class.. but i still wanna try.. lets see as time goes on.....

ThE pAsT

2004-08-10T21:49:00.000+08:00

Hmm yesterday too tired to write.. writing yesterday's events today.. it was truly fun yesterday.. Went West Coast Park with my good friends from Bukit View Secondary SchooL.. Nice seeing them again.. We played soccer at the field there.. haha.. had lots of fun.. Had lots of laughter while playing soccer(Remind me of the good old days).. i also wrote a song there that i'm dedicating to this amazing girl in school... but somehow i think it will bring me nowhere.. ok enough about that... after we had fun there,they accompanied me to Jurong Point coz i wanted to buy spectacle lense which in the end i didnt.. so we just walk around... then they accompanied me again go Liberty coz i wanted to buy strawberries to give to that amazing girl.. strawberries are her favourite.. mine too... then while buying... one of my fren suddenly had a craving for yoghurt n went to buy.. muahahaha.. then the rest of buy bought two each.. hahaha then once paid we open n drink it.. haha.. we look like never eaten yoghurt before.. haha.. but it was very nice.. strawberry yoghurt.. haha.. then after that we went home ah coz all tired already n wanted to watch Singapore idol.. i only managed to watch last 30 minutes of the show.. and i could see that singapore standard sucks big time.. come on.. wats up with those posers.. yeah.. thats all for yesterday's events.. kind of a great day.. bring back happy flashbacks of my past.. A past that will never be erase.. but at the same time had a feeling of uncertainty.. always thinking of that girl.. that can never be mine..

STarT oF mY DyinG daYs

2004-08-09T13:10:00.000+08:00

Here i am singing the anthem of my dying days.. Never had a peaceful night since being in Polytechnic... but Life still have to go on...

*AnTheM oF mY DyinG DayS*